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marketing stuff towards women: a simple guide

I think that somewhere, in the dark recesses of the cave in which most ad exec gophers carve out their meager existence, there is a piece of paper (or perhaps, more sinister: a powerpoint) entitled: “Marketing Stuff Towards Women: A Simple Guide”.

It’s a very basic set of instructions, broken down into four steps.

1.) Take a product that has successfully been marketed to men.

2.) Make it inherently less useful, but exceedingly more expensive. Also, consider the addition of the color pink.

3.) ????

4.) Profit!!!

Yes, it really is that easy. Take yogurt, for example. Hey ladies, do you remember… food?

Source: Taste of Home.

We’re sure that you do.  And you also remember why you gave it up…  For the sake of your ass (and your mission to make it smaller).  But now, you can enjoy the flavor of food again in a convenient, low calorie form: yogurt.  It TASTES just like the food you used to love!

Teva is taking the “feminization” of their product line to a whole new level, however, and we have to give it to them for really going all out.  Teva is a well known brand in the hiking community–if you want a great pair of waterproof shoes that grip like there’s no tomorrow, you want a pair of Tevas!  A good pair of Tevas is going to run you somewhere in the $100 to $200 USD range, but it’s worth it (supposedly).

But Teva’s recent collaboration with fashion studio Grey Ant has taken things to a whole other level–get ready for it.

Source: The Consumerist.

Yes, your eyes do not deceive you–hiking stilettos!  Because hiking in flats is for the weak willed woman who has just given up.  If every moment of your life truly is an opportunity for fashion Grey Ant wants you to be prepared.  Finally!

And if you’re having any doubts at all about when it would be appropriate to break out your new Steva stilettos–let “The Gloss” tell it to you straight.  Here’s just three of their seven amazing places to wear your new Steva hiking heels.

  • The formal dance at the end of summer sleepaway yoga and no-bathing camp
  • The Phish concert where you and your life partner have a commitment ceremony while being blessed with organic holy water
  • The supermodel-helmed fashion spreads in the inevitable relaunch of Outside magazine as a Maxim clone

And, of course, the feminization of this product would not be complete without the price tag: $330 USD.  That’s almost triple the price of your run of the mill Stevas!  But you know you can never pay too much to look this good…

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